I lift weights in pajamas

It's true. In a previous post I talked about loathing having to go anyplace to work out. I found out this even applies to my basement, where a user friendly set up was created by my husband in order to work out. The one place I don't mind going in the morning is the bathroom. I put a few dumbbells under the sink and some mornings I actually lift them. There is a big mirror in there, good for watching my form, and the tub, for kneeling on as a bench. So far I'm able to do bicep, tricep and back exercises. I'm averaging about 2-3 times per week which I think is a good start. I'm very easy on myself.

The weight loss has been going pretty well. I've lost 20 pounds so far and I've taken to a "snacking" form of exercise. I try to do some sort of exercise on the prescribed "most days" which means either swimming, walking, weightlifting or yoga or a combination of two. I've stuck with the yoga, because it feels SO good, even when it's difficult. I'm hoping it will help straighten my spine, bent from years of crouching over a keyboard. I try to be an opportunist - grabbing a walk in the afternoon or hitting the weights in the bathroom.

I used to think I needed the right exercise clothes, sneakers, etc. For some exercise, it's essential. But for an exercise snacker like me, slipping on the old shoes with my jammies works just fine. I get it done.

Eating less...what a concept

A good thing has happened to me this Fall. I started working with a nutritionist because pretty much everything I have tried to do to lose weight and eat healthy has failed. I consider Fall to be a time for change for me - time to focus and start something new. The nutritionist, Michelle, introduced me to the new food pyramid, mypyramid.gov, and counseled me on eating well. I'm happy to say I've lost 11 pounds so far and my goal is opened-ended. What I mean by that is that I'm headed for fitness, not just a number of pounds. I'll know when I get there because I will be fit - swimming and training for the sprint distance triathlons next summer. I'm going to stay there by continuing to see Michelle periodically. I told her I can get in a groove: cravings disappear and healthy eating is easy. But I also said I will need her when I start to get into bad habits again. My motivation to do anything is cyclical and my willpower will flag eventually. If I can admit it, I can deal with it.

I am at a crossroads in my life. In my 30's I used my body to make babies. It was hard and exhausting work. I feel as if I can choose to live a sedentary and overweight life or fight back and be fit. I'm choosing fitness but I know I need help with motivation both for proper nutrition and exercise. I'm drawing on all my resources for exercise, to swim and then add biking and running. If I surround myself with folks who value exercise then I find their enthusiasm infects me as well.

This past August I participated in a relay team in the Pine Tree Triathlon here in Maine. I was the swimmer. After not training the entire month of July I was seriously nervous about the 800 meters. I was slow which disappointed me but my teammates were very good sports about it and picked up the slack. We all had fun. I'm really looking forward to tri-ing again and this time doing all the events. Cross training swimming, biking and running is a recipe for fitness. Couple that with good eating and I feel confident I will reach my goals.

This is your brain on power yoga

I tried something new this week and I would classify the experience as one of the most difficult workouts I have ever attempted. My husband took me out on a "yoga date" to the new Portland Power Yoga studio in Portland, Maine.

Yoga is not for me. I've always maintained that. I believed in the mental and physical health benefits but thought it was too slow and boring. Don't forget, when I'm doing something unpleasant my brain is counting the minutes until it is over. To me, that defeats the purpose. Then I tried Power Yoga.

A friend of mine attended the Baron Baptiste yoga studio in Massachusetts and told me she spent most of the time on the floor roasting and being unable to move. You see, that's the secret. They heat the room to one hundred degrees or so and you do yoga in this superheated sauna. Since I'm a cold person wearing fleece in the office in July, I thought I might like it.

Our instructor, Alice, told me not to worry about being a beginner. She said to listen to my body and rest when necessary using the child's pose. That advice turned out to be how I spent most of the 90 minutes of practice. Alice was skilled in explaining how to do the pose in a way that didn't make me twist my neck to look at her every time. She walked the room adjusting and correcting our poses while encouraging us. Meahwhile, it's getting hotter and hotter. I mean New York City in the middle of a heatwave at high noon, without the pollution.

About twenty minutes into the practice, I started to feel sick. We were doing some quick transitions from the floor to standing positions and my sluggish, non-yoga circulatory system could not keep up. Then came the spots in front of my eyes and I thought I was going to hurl, right there on my mat. I got up to leave but Alice stopped me and put me in the child's pose, telling me to rest. There I stayed, the sweat pouring out of me, occasionally making some feeble attempts to participate.

At the end of class I felt dazed and light headed. A cool shower later had me much refreshed. I felt calm, peaceful and tired but not in an exhausted way. I was able to take the time to reflect on what Alice was saying during the class. She spoke about transformation and said it's available to everyone. I really keyed in on that because how often do the voices in our head tell us we can't change or we always have to behave a certain way? She said it cuts across how we look and act, our careers and our relationships. That is a pretty strong claim. I felt good enough afterwards to try again so we'll see where the power yoga journey takes us. Namaste.

The Scale Is Not My Enemy

Unlike a lot of people, I don't hate my bathroom scale. I have pet name for it, he's called Mr. Scale. Sometimes Mr. Scale has good news for me, by providing a "good" number but lately all the news has been unfit to print. I don't blame the scale because I see it as a neutral party in my quest for fitness, perhaps even rooting for me a little bit. "She needs a boost, I'll lighten up for her today," I imagine my scale thinking. But I really know it's just me, the food I eat and the exercise I don't get enough of.

I am really in the mood for excuses. I can be pretty hard core with myself but I want to be indulgent just this once. I'll list them:

• My dog hurt her knee so I stopped walking her (she's better now)
• My kids won't go to bed at night
• I get PMS and eat like crazed maniac
• Lunchtime meetings have crept in at work and I've missed my swims
• After one day calorie counting became boring so I stopped

Those are about the lamest excuses I could come up with! And I was really trying. But I read something recently that struck me so odd I'm working on a way to apply it to fitness. It was a quote from a success inspiration book that read, "to be successful, do something unpleasant every day." The premise is that performing a daily unpleasantness leads to self discipline, the very thing I seem to lack.

What an amazing idea! So much I read has to do with making diet and exercise comfortable for the afflicted. I realize now I've been guilty of the same thing. I've been focusing on making diet and exercise so enjoyable for myself I haven't made much progress.

The funny part of this idea is that it actually works. I think to myself, "I really don't want to clean these piles on my desk, or fold these clothes, or do these dishes, but it's unpleasant, so I will." And, to my utter amazement, I do! And then I laugh because it seems so ridiculous.

My next task will be to say, "I really don't want to avoid this cookie, or doughnut, or potato chip, but I will, because doing so will result in a less than satisfied feeling in my belly, and that is unpleasant." I have to link a book here today, written by Stephen Gullo. I read it a long time ago and I think this follows his basic message - to stop being so self indulgent and take responsibility for eating less.

Full Circle

About a million years ago my "Sundae-a-day" habit caught up with me and I asked my mom the best way to lose weight. She talked to me about counting calories and carbohydrates. Since you could have way more calories than carbs I chose to count calories. My teenage self figured out fairly quickly that skipping meals was a great way to lose weight. In fact, no eating at all was helpful too. But after a few fights with mom I realized that wasn't sustainable and the yo-yo dieting began.

In the '80's I counted fat grams while eating enormous platefuls of pasta in college. I honestly wondered why I never lost any weight even though I exercised. In the '90's I did a Fat Flush for a grueling week and lost 7 pounds. I'll take a pass next time. With Atkins I ate several pounds of bacon and for some bizarre reason - didn't shed an ounce! Imagine that. Nothing seemed to work over the long term.

So what to do? After spending two decades trying to convince myself I could eat as much as I want, as long as I avoid certain foods, I realize that it's the intake that derails my efforts. I came across a website called Calorie-Count.com which, after obtaining way more information than I wanted to provide, allows me to use their food log and tracking service for free. It has really neat tools, for example, many foods (especially brand name ones) are already in their database. Just search and click to add. If it's not there a handy form allows you to enter the food yourself. It tallys for the day and keeps track of your progress - "only 10 more pounds to go!" Even includes a graph.

It's not very flashy but seems to work well. Knowing I'm going to enter everything that I eat is a motivator. I like to see the progress I'm making and get that bit of feedback. It's on the honor system, guys, so no cheating! I'll report back whether it helps me stay on track. Counting calories. How basic is that?

Sign says all you can eat - not eat all day!

I had the best meal I've eaten in a LONG time the other night. It was date night, and dinner at a fancy restaurant was on the agenda. Hearkening back to an earlier time in my life I made sure not to eat anything that afternoon because I didn't want to "spoil my dinner." It worked. I wasn't ravenous, because I'd eaten well at lunch but I was hungry. At this restaurant the food portions are not overly huge (like some places) so I left full but not overstuffed. How I felt afterwards had me thinking about food and what I happen to be doing with it lately (forever).

Some days are like the all-u-can-eat buffet. No matter what I've just eaten, I'm bored, so I hit the fridge, cupboard, vending machine for the next snack. I realize what's happening: I'm eating my stress, or boredom but I can't seem to break the cycle. Some days are like yesterday. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner being busy in between without the call of the sugary or salty snack. I even swam 1000 meters at the pool. Why can't all days be like that? I wish I knew.

I'm calling myself out because food is part of the fitness equation. I remember reading an article once about a woman in her forties. In the photo she was beautiful, tanned and fit looking. But she said something that chilled me, "I've been hungry for twenty years." The article detailed her depression with constantly battling cravings and dieting. That's just grim. I've had times in my life where I've been at a good place fitness-wise and I'd like to get there again. I don't know if I'll ever be rid of my inner eating machine but I'm going to try to make better choices with it. Better to crunch through a bag of carrot sticks than potato chips. We'll see how it goes.

Dogs: A walker's best friend

Believe me, this dog is no couch potato.

Ever try to exercise with a friend? You arrange to meet at 6am for that walk, run, swim, step class. It works great until one of you gets bored (me) and blows off the other. "My kid is sick." "My husband has an early meeting." In comes Chloe.

I got Chloe in a fit of maternal instinct (I was pregnant at the time) about six years ago. I vowed I would walk her *every* day. That went fairly well for a few years but a couple of winters ago we both got cold feet. Her tootsies got sore walking on salt encrusted ice in our neighborhood. I almost had a fit when I saw her holding that hind leg up - not the knee again! But she was just cold. Subsequently we quickly got out of the habit of walking at all. I've been feeling pretty badly about that lately and decided to do something about it. Due to the recent thaw and rain the street is pretty clean. Over the weekend we managed to take two walks. Yes two! (applause). We both enjoyed it.

Chloe is so forgiving. She doesn't make me feel terrible about all the walks we missed. She might not even remember them at all! And she's smart. The morning I took her out the first time she got right up when I did, ears perked, and looked at me. "Are we really going?" She seemed to ask. There's no negotiating with a dog. She doesn't say, "it's raining, let's wait until tomorrow." In fact, I know that rain enhances the smell of smelly stuff. She likes that. Chloe is always up and ready to go. She can take a nap later. Chloe is a motivator because she's always enthusiastic, waiting by the door, ready before I am.

I'm including Chloe in my little fitness quest. I read an article that says to exercise on "most days." How often is that? That's just excuses in the making, my brain trying to do that counting thing. I'm going to ignore that and try to take my dog out more often. It benefits us both.

Breaking the ice

I haven't been on skates in about ten years or so. But I was an o.k. skater so I wasn't too worried when my oldest daughter began to hound me for ice skates. It was the kind of hounding that, if she didn't get skates for her birthday, it was going to be a very bad day. She's six.
She ended up getting the skates and a pair for her sister too, thank you Play it Again Sports. There are some terrific places to skate in Maine and we chose Falmouth Family Ice on the recommendation of a coworker. The first time we went, it was just me and the girls. I felt nervous! Would I fall and be embarrassed? Hurt myself? What if they hated it? I was wrong on almost everything.
We struggled along the wall at first, the girls falling and falling but never getting discouraged. Amazingly enough, my oldest started to get it! The ice skating coworker suggested having them stomp their feet to get used to the skates and the ice. I have to report - it worked! Getting through that first day was thrilling.
We went again yesterday, this time with the husband and three year old. That was challenging, taking the boy around. An observant spectator commented as I went past, "how does your back feel about now?" I was in agony. We took a break shortly thereafter.
My husband, hero that he is, convinced me to skate with him without the kids. I was able to keep my eye on them in the stands as we went around the rink. I was doing it! Silly as it sounds I felt a teenager again, doing the couples skate at the local rink. Very cool.
The highlight of the afternoon was heading outside with my oldest daughter to the pond for a few more minutes. She wasn't done yet! At six, second time on skates, she's skating independantly and confidently. We went around, smiling and laughing. It couldn't have been a better day.

Winter Feels Good!

Did you check out all the snow we got this weekend? It's awesome. The photo there shows a couple of terrific looking snowmen someone built in Central Park of NYC. Pretty cool! So I was poking around in the news and I read an article about schools that are buying snowshoes for kids. This is a great idea that led me to think about winter sports in general. I learned how to ski a while back and was a determined blue trail skiier. I wasn't concerned with being fast, or especially skilled. I most enjoyed being outside during the most inclement season in New England, winter.

What else could we do that would enable us to be outdoors for 6 to 8 hours at a stretch? We even packed sandwiches to stuff in our pockets in order to eat lunch slopeside. Barring bathroom breaks they were full fresh air days. So why don't I ski anymore? Life intervened and it's not feasible to get three kids on the mountain these days. Anyone check out the price of lift tickets? Yikes.

My next goal is to scale back my expectations and enjoy the snow with the kids. There are snowmen to build, and angels to make. Instead of watching from the window I'll recycle my ski pants into snowpants and start doing what they do. We'll keep trying new things like ice skating and maybe snowshoeing. And I'll keep checking out websites like Winter Feels Good to get ideas and inspiration. Snowball fight anyone?

Yes, I can fly like Superman. In the water, that is

That's not my picture, but I hope I look as snazzy as that lovely lady in the far, far distant future. Anyway, a fun thing happened to me while swimming today. I was swimming along and my brain started to think superhero thoughts as I went back and forth. I'd stop and rest a few seconds on the edge of the pool with my feet on the wall and think, "I'm Spiderman. I'm hanging out on the side of a building like Spiderman." Or, while skimming the surface of the (very deep) end I'd think, "I'm Superman, flying high in the sky." You might be wondering what I was smoking, but those thoughts led me to certain questions about exercise.

Usually when I'm exercising my mind is in SERIOUS countdown mode - "O.k. Annette, only 10 more reps, laps, minutes, lifts, etc." I have to pep talk myself almost the entire time. That's really boring. I thought about my kids and how they move, which is almost constantly. They need to be commanded to stop: don't run, come inside, stop playing, stop climbing, get out of the water. Their natural impulse is to move their bodies and somehow we lose that. Is it TV? Junk food? Team sports? Parents? I've talked about how serious adults can be while exercising. We have to distract ourselves with TV's mounted over the treadmill or get another adult to goad us into doing it. Personal training is big business because money is a great (but temporary) motivator: If I pay you to make me exercise I will do it. Because I don't know you it's o.k for me to loathe every minute of it.

In trying to figure out how to remain motivated I think I found something out: if the activity is fun, physically pleasurable and offers some other benefit (like letting my imagination run away) then maybe I'll continue to do it. Today, after 600 meters, the little voices told me to get out of the pool, I had done enough. But instead of needing the internal cheerleading squad to keep me going I just went back to Spidey and Superman, and easily swam the last 200. It was a good day.

Go Soak Your Head! A Tale of a Reluctant Exerciser

My first experience with open water started with my mom dipping my baby toes in the ocean at four months. Then there were the intervening years at the YMCA, you know, fish, flying fish, dolphin, porpoise. I didn't consider myself a "swimmer". I loved to swim around, mermaiding in the ocean. But I never thought about swimming for exercise until last summer, when a couple of coworkers finally convinced me to give it a try. At first we swam outside with mixed results. Some days it was nice and warm. After a few laps I'd lay out on the deck and sun myself. Other days it was too chilly and I walked back to the office, grateful for that bit of exercise. Then Labor Day arrived and the pool closed for the season. What next?

My colleagues convinced me to give the local indoor pool a try. "It's only $3 bucks, no commitment." That I could go for. It seems that once I have a monthly contract I MUST stop going and agonize about my lost gym fees. This would be different. And it was.

The pool, at a local school, has adult swim during lunch. The water is deliciously warm. I splurged on a swim cap and goggles which made me feel legit. The first days in the pool I felt clumsy but that soon left me. I tend to daydream while going back and forth. I often think of a line from one of the kid's books: "shooting back and forth like a silver arrow" running like a mantra in my head. (Although I'm no silver arrow, that's for sure). A swim, followed by a hot shower, is enough to turn me to jello for the day. It's heavenly.

I used to be a walker. Then for various excuses and reasons, I stopped. Now I'm swimming and I'm going to enjoy it for as long as I can. My hope is that when the time comes to transition from one type of exercise to another, I'll recognize what's happening. Then I'll be able to reduce the time it takes to switch to something else. Maybe I'll be a walker again. Until then, it's splashy time.

Why not play like kids?

I took my daughter to a birthday party yesterday at a local gymnastics place. There was a jungle gym room next to the princess table set with hats and the cake. The kids, all around 4 or 5 years old, immediately ran to the gym room which was filled with slides, climbing ropes, balance beams and a trampoline or two. They were unstoppable. Eventually the group moved to the main floor where the instructor took them through several actvities. One included running down a runway-sized trampoline and leaping off into a giant pit of foam blocks. As my daughter struggled to free herself there was a huge smile on her face. I gave her a hand up and she said, "again Mommy!"

After cake and ice cream the kids had another run at the jungle gym room and this time I joined them. My hands itched to grab the rope and take a swing but I was too embarrassed in front of the other parents. During the ride home, with my little one sound asleep in the back seat, I wondered, "when do we stop going to the playground?" My oldest is six and we all still love to go. Why are there no jungle gyms at the gym? We have treadmills and exercycles, free weights and exercise balls. There are step classes and Pilates. Where are the adult-sized monkey bars? Where is the tunnel slide?

I thought about military styled obstacle courses and boot camps. Usually that type of training is punitive and seems to be founded on goading the attendee to complete the course at a fast pace. Why can't it be fun? I think I could get a stellar workout running around the playground for an hour, if it were my size.