Week 3 of Triathlon Training Season
Brain: O.k. everyone, let’s get the meeting started. We have several issues to discuss. She’s starting to get real organized with her training now that it’s Spring. The International Distance tri is only 9 weeks away. You guys have been great pulling together – she appreciates that. Let’s start with the hungry issue. Stomach? Can you please report?
Stomach: Oh man, you guys, you have no idea. I’m rumbling, like, ALL the time. SO hungry! She eats her stupid little snack bars, and gels, but I can’t keep anything in me. I’m getting killed here!
Mouth: Remember the pasta for breakfast? Mac and cheese at 9am. Mmmmm.
Stomach: Oh yeah, that was awesome. With cinnamon raisin oatmeal for dessert.
Legs: Yeah dude! Set us up but good for yesterday’s 4 miler. We kicked it.
Nose: And did you smell those burgers when we ran past RiRa’s?
Feet: We almost stopped in our tracks!
Brain: I know. I hit override. She didn’t have any money. All right. I think I know where this is heading. Metabolism?
Metabolism: Yes Brain. I’m just doing my job here. Burning calories like mad in response to all this training. Swimming, biking, running – it takes it’s toll on me, ya know? She’s gotta eat!
Brain: It’s all good. We know you burn the fuel. But you need to make a switch, start burning some of the fat. She got that new scale, you know.
Eyes: Oh my God did you see that? It is so slick. Tells you the weight, fat percentage and water percentage. Rocks.
Body Fat: Hey, hold on there a minute! What’re you saying Brain?
Brain: You know what I’m saying. You need to let go, BF.
Body Fat: What? Us? Do you see those curves, man? We bring sexy back! And what about keeping her warm?
Brain: She wears a hat.
Body Fat: I mean, what about the floating? She can float in the pool like nobody’s business. You need us!
Lungs: Hey, we have a little bit to do with that floating business.
Body Fat: Shut. Up!
Brain: I know. Don’t get me wrong. But you need to shrink up. Not one of your little cells will be gone. Only liposuction can do that.
Body Fat: DON’T say it! DON’T say that word! It’s murder!
Brain: Settle down. You see, when she got that new scale, well, you kind of came into focus. She doesn’t care about the weight number any more. Just you.
Body Fat: You’re killing me here!
Brain: We don’t want to eliminate you. Just reduce by a few pounds. You’ll feel so much better, I promise.
Legs: And we’ll be faster! No more hauling around all that junk in the trunk!
Butt: Hey!
Legs: Butt, you so sexy, mwah!
Butt: Cut it out.
Brain: O.k. Here’s the deal. Metabolism, you need to focus on burning some of the existing body fat during the workouts.
Metabolism: But I’m programmed to preserve that! It’s for emergencies only!
Brain: Contrary to popular belief, the famine is NOT coming. She can live without some of it, I promise.
Metabolism: Oh…I don’t know…
Brain: Trust me. It will be fine. And don’t worry, we’re still going to keep the food coming.
Stomach: Hurray! I thought you forgot about me.
Brain: Don’t be silly. We’re not going to starve her, just change it up.
Mouth: Can we have a steak? I can’t stop thinking about it. Steak, potatoes and peas. Oh my. It’s making me crazy.
Brain: I’ll work on that. Send her shopping. Steak on the grill, mashed potatoes, peas, you name it. Whatever you want.
Mouth: Dude, I’ll be your best friend.
Brain: Sweet. Body Fat, it will be o.k. We’re just going to trim her up, get faster and stronger. Winter is over and it’s time to stop being so lazy.
Body Fat: Lazy is what I do best!
Brain: I know. That’s why I’m in charge. O.k., thanks everyone. Great job heading for goal this week. We’ve got 4 hours down and 4 to do. Swim today and then 10k tomorrow!
Legs: Yeehaw!
Brain: Back to work!
Brain: O.k. everyone, let’s get the meeting started. We have several issues to discuss. She’s starting to get real organized with her training now that it’s Spring. The International Distance tri is only 9 weeks away. You guys have been great pulling together – she appreciates that. Let’s start with the hungry issue. Stomach? Can you please report?
Stomach: Oh man, you guys, you have no idea. I’m rumbling, like, ALL the time. SO hungry! She eats her stupid little snack bars, and gels, but I can’t keep anything in me. I’m getting killed here!
Mouth: Remember the pasta for breakfast? Mac and cheese at 9am. Mmmmm.
Stomach: Oh yeah, that was awesome. With cinnamon raisin oatmeal for dessert.
Legs: Yeah dude! Set us up but good for yesterday’s 4 miler. We kicked it.
Nose: And did you smell those burgers when we ran past RiRa’s?
Feet: We almost stopped in our tracks!
Brain: I know. I hit override. She didn’t have any money. All right. I think I know where this is heading. Metabolism?
Metabolism: Yes Brain. I’m just doing my job here. Burning calories like mad in response to all this training. Swimming, biking, running – it takes it’s toll on me, ya know? She’s gotta eat!
Brain: It’s all good. We know you burn the fuel. But you need to make a switch, start burning some of the fat. She got that new scale, you know.
Eyes: Oh my God did you see that? It is so slick. Tells you the weight, fat percentage and water percentage. Rocks.
Body Fat: Hey, hold on there a minute! What’re you saying Brain?
Brain: You know what I’m saying. You need to let go, BF.
Body Fat: What? Us? Do you see those curves, man? We bring sexy back! And what about keeping her warm?
Brain: She wears a hat.
Body Fat: I mean, what about the floating? She can float in the pool like nobody’s business. You need us!
Lungs: Hey, we have a little bit to do with that floating business.
Body Fat: Shut. Up!
Brain: I know. Don’t get me wrong. But you need to shrink up. Not one of your little cells will be gone. Only liposuction can do that.
Body Fat: DON’T say it! DON’T say that word! It’s murder!
Brain: Settle down. You see, when she got that new scale, well, you kind of came into focus. She doesn’t care about the weight number any more. Just you.
Body Fat: You’re killing me here!
Brain: We don’t want to eliminate you. Just reduce by a few pounds. You’ll feel so much better, I promise.
Legs: And we’ll be faster! No more hauling around all that junk in the trunk!
Butt: Hey!
Legs: Butt, you so sexy, mwah!
Butt: Cut it out.
Brain: O.k. Here’s the deal. Metabolism, you need to focus on burning some of the existing body fat during the workouts.
Metabolism: But I’m programmed to preserve that! It’s for emergencies only!
Brain: Contrary to popular belief, the famine is NOT coming. She can live without some of it, I promise.
Metabolism: Oh…I don’t know…
Brain: Trust me. It will be fine. And don’t worry, we’re still going to keep the food coming.
Stomach: Hurray! I thought you forgot about me.
Brain: Don’t be silly. We’re not going to starve her, just change it up.
Mouth: Can we have a steak? I can’t stop thinking about it. Steak, potatoes and peas. Oh my. It’s making me crazy.
Brain: I’ll work on that. Send her shopping. Steak on the grill, mashed potatoes, peas, you name it. Whatever you want.
Mouth: Dude, I’ll be your best friend.
Brain: Sweet. Body Fat, it will be o.k. We’re just going to trim her up, get faster and stronger. Winter is over and it’s time to stop being so lazy.
Body Fat: Lazy is what I do best!
Brain: I know. That’s why I’m in charge. O.k., thanks everyone. Great job heading for goal this week. We’ve got 4 hours down and 4 to do. Swim today and then 10k tomorrow!
Legs: Yeehaw!
Brain: Back to work!
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