Fit Moves

Your Attention, Please

2009-03-22T05:42:00.005-05:00

I haven't been here in a while. But the idea for this post has been bouncing around in my head for a few days and the early morning stars have aligned for me to get it down. Here goes.

I've been thinking a lot about my exercise lately, or rather my lack of it. After the half ironman last September the foundation of my routine began to crumble. Even when I was training my diet slipped into disrepair, something I discussed over the summer. I took time off when the race was over and never established an overwinter training plan. I stopped blogging. School started and my job changed. I lost focus. I woke up one day and was fat. Aw Jeez.

I asked myself, "how did I get here, again?" When my clothes didn't fit I tried on the old excuses, "I have no time," "the kids make me busy," "I'm working too much." The last item might have some merit but time is constant and the kids sleep 13 hours a day. So what happened?

A friend told me she is using "The Biggest Loser" cookbook to make healthy foods for herself and her boyfriend. That got me thinking about how that program works. An overweight person goes on television. With the support of coaches, nutritionists, doctors and millions of viewers they attempt as a team to lose weight and beat the other team in a weight loss race. Brilliant. Such an environment would allow me to meet my weight loss goals in about 3 weeks. Why? It would hold 100% of my attention on my goals to lose weight and be fit.

Training for the half iron held my attention last year. I was so worried about it I made sure I met my training goals. I read my daily plan, made sure I had all my workout stuff, and ran, swam, and biked to my heart's content. I've lost weight before. We use terms like "willpower" to put a label on one's ability to stay on a diet. When you slip, or don't work out, you can feel like a failure and think you don't have willpower. I disagree. The diet or activity chosen may be too difficult to hold your attention. Other things in your life may be so profound they draw your attention away. Right now I'm involved in two huge projects at work. I travel up and down the east coast to work on them. They are SO exciting and fun. The work is difficult and I haven't used my brain like this in years. They make me tired. So tired I must wring out enough energy to enjoy my family, and spend time with my husband and kids.

"Make time for yourself." We hear that a lot. It's a nice idea. "Make exercise as simple as brushing your teeth." That's where I'm heading. Instead of making my training require 40% of my attention I have to dial it down...keep it low level, easy, a no-brainer. I need my mental energy and focus for my family and work. I wish it wasn't like that but I accept it.

So what's the plan, Stanley? I'm going back to my exercise "snacking." The weights are back under the sink in the upstairs bathroom. A pair of sneakers are in the desk at work for quick lunchtime walks. I make sure to pack my swim and exercise stuff when I travel and ALWAYS get a workout in at the hotel. I'm composing a mail in my head to my bike buddy - I trade home cooking for maintenance. A freshly tuned pair of bikes for riding is good incentive to get outside. I'm trying to draw my attention back to getting the workouts in and setting some boundaries for my work.

As for my diet I'm working to make better choices. The airport Starbucks sells cups of gorgeous fruit salad. At 140 calories it made me feel good and was delicious. There is much fattening fare on the road but only if you pick it. I'm so overfed lately the rich food doesn't taste good. Portions are typically huge but I'm looking hard at the plate and deciding what I'm hungry for. I leave the rest. I say, "no french fries, please."

I'm writing today because Spring is here. Well, not here in Maine but calendar here. I'm uncomfortable in my skin. I will be racing this summer and need to move it, move it. My clothes don't fit and that has my attention, bigtime.

Yours in training,
Annette

Annette is half Pumpkinman 6:50:36

2008-09-15T12:48:00.002-05:00

On August 11th I wrote a post which detailed the need to get my head on straight prior to the half iron. I'm not sure exactly what was going on at the time but I'm thinking I peaked mentally in the beginning of August, right around the time of the Beach to Beacon 10k. Unfortunately it was all downhill afterwards. Instead of using my vacation to recharge my mental batteries I faced a series of challenges in my family's health that caused me to use every ounce of energy I had during the second half of August. By Saturday the 6th, around noontime, I looked at my husband and said, "I don't think I have anything left." He promised me I would be able to finish although I wasn't sure I believed him. I had a serious bout of race anxiety, the kind where you feel like you're walking underwater. I wasn't sure I had everything I needed packed in the car. My bike needed a tune up, air in the tires and was dirty. It was pretty much a hell day.

I drove to Portsmouth, NH to meet my friend Tarra who was my cheerleader, spectator and support system for the race. She followed my progress as I trained and I was so happy she was going to be there. I told her that if we hadn't had these plans, I might not have showed up! After hearing my story she agreed I was probably the least mentally prepared athlete but she thought I would finish.

It poured all night and I dreaded racing a full day in the rain. On race morning we drove to the venue and I got my tires pumped up and my transition area set. I managed to drink half a protein drink and eat a bar. The weather looked like it was clearing around 6:30am. I put my wetsuit on and Tarra and I headed down to the water. We had a brief race meeting and I began to feel happy on the beach, smiling and bouncing on my toes. Tarra took pictures of me. It was a small race, only 173 participants, and I was in Wave 3. Wave 1 was Elite, 2 was the men, and 3 the women and relay team swimmers. "Go Go Go!" We were off.

People, I tell you, I was terrified. Not of the water, I love the swim. I was so scared of the race starting and the long haul I had in front of me. My Xterra wetsuit saved me. I love that thing. Thick and thin in all the right places and slick in the water. I stroked and stroked and zig zagged my way through the first loop. I started to feel fine in the second loop of the swim knowing that I was making progress. I finished the swim in about 49 minutes and ran up the hill to transition 1.

Then my wetsuit and I had a fight. It didn't want to come off. 7 incredibly long minutes later I was finally heading out on the bike. But first, a quick potty break. Some folks manage to (ahem) pee themselves while biking and running but I haven't mastered that skill. And my wetsuit hermetically seals itself to my wrist and ankles preventing any water from washing through so peeing in the suit is also not an option. So it goes.

In hindsight the bike is a source of massive frustration for me. I know I'm slow but this is ridiculous. I managed about 15 miles an hour on the bike. I knew I couldn't get any speed going. My legs, heart and lungs seemed to be working o.k. but I didn't have that strong feeling in my legs. I was grateful that there were no killer hills but 56 miles was a long ride. After about 25 miles I was also in extreme pain. My seat was killing me. I counted down the miles, one by one watching my (somewhat) broken odometer. The rules say no mp3 players allowed so it was pretty quiet on my ride. I prayed, "dear Jesus, please let me finish the race and not be a DNF," and thought up bumper stickers, "Mental fortitude or crazy? You decide, I TRI." Nah, too long. I choked up a little when I pulled in to transition 2. "I'm doing it! One more event!"

I set out on the run and made another quick pitstop. I felt low at the beginning of the run, "It's so hard, this is so long," but I didn't feel like I had any choice. Stopping then was not an option. I did a mental scan of my body and a little twinge in my left ankle was all it showed. It worried me a little but worked itself out quickly. My butt was so happy to be off the bike and out of pain. "I feel o.k., I can keep going." I negotiated with myself that I would walk in aid stations. That was the only concession to rest that I was going to give myself. Luckily the route was set up so we passed back and forth in front of the well stocked stations and the volunteers were always ready with water and gatorade. About midway through the run I started to get irritated. It was taking too long and it was too hard. Irritation gave way to anger because I still wasn't going to stop but I REALLY wanted the race to be over. I made the second turnaround at mile 9.3 and totally bummed. At my 10 minute mile pace that meant I was running for at least another 40 minutes. I shuffled on. Finally a cheery volunteer announced "Only half a mile left! You're almost there!" It was the best news I'd heard all day. I went in the direction she indicated and after a minute faced a signficantly steep hill. "Are you $%@^%*& kidding me!!" I said this out loud, wasting my breath. I ran up some of it and then stopped to walk. In another 30 seconds I saw the field and realized I was right there. The finish was right over the top. "I don't want them to see me walking." I started running again and there was a woman waving an orange flag, "You're there! Go right down the hill to the finish!" I couldn't believe it and I started to cry. I had to tell myself to stop because I needed the breath to finish. Then I saw my time was less than 7 hours and I really broke down. Tarra hugged me and my bottles of water and gatorade and then I went for a swim.

After putting on fresh clothes and having a hot meal of turkey with all the trimmings I felt very cheery. Happy even. I'm still in disbelief that I finished and I wasn't as slow as I expected. I wish I could have come into the race with a stronger mental outlook but certain events were out of my control. The happy news is that my family's health outlook has improved. Fewer worries there. The jury is still out on whether I will race another half iron next year. My feeling is that the international distance like Mooseman is a ton of fun and just the right distance for each event. Just when I'm getting bored it's time to switch it up. The half ironman was a signficant goal for me and I'm glad I cleared it. Now it's time for the Maine Half Marathon and then overwinter training begins.

Thanks for listening and happy training!
Annette

Reaching the end

2008-09-05T09:46:00.003-05:00

Just like Santa I'm making a list and checking it twice as I prepare for the Pumpkinman Triathlon Half Iron. To say I feel pretty nervous would be an understatement. Today I logged my last brick - a 30 minute bike ride and a 1 mile run. The workout felt really good and while I know I'm more fit than I was, I still feel unsure of myself. But the time has run out and I can only hope that the training was enough to see me through.

My goal is to cross the finish line somewhere between 7 and 7 1/2 hours. Not fast. I think it's going to be a race with a small field, especially in my age group (40-44). Any time shorter than that will be a welcome surprise.

I've had some great support - thanks to you all! I won't be alone on race day with one of my BFs Tarra there to cheer me on. I told her, "bring something to read." I also need to remember to bring her a chair. It will be a long day for spectators!

I will be sure to blog about my experience sometime next week, when I can lift my weary hands to the keyboard - ha ha! Until then, happy training!

Cheers,
Annette

Your Fitness - a fickle BF

2008-08-28T09:23:00.002-05:00

One of my nicknames for myself is "Mrs. Bright Side." I try to focus on the positive and be optimistic. I use this blog to try and motivate myself and hopefully others. It really helps me keep moving! Recently I've been thinking about fitness as a state of body and mind. For me, fitness has moved in and out of my life. I look at my children and right now their fitness is as tight to them as their own shadows. Lean and strong they go hand over hand on the monkey bars. They seem to run and play all day without tiring. As a kid I was like that too and I've talked about the change in me as a teenager. I was more concerned with (ahem) other activities than keeping fit.

My fitness is like a fair weather best friend. When I'm working out consistently she sticks by my side. But once I get lazy my fitness is off to the Bahamas, ready to hang out with someone who plays beach volleyball. She's not going to sit around with me, eating potato chips and watching TV. Depending on where you left off and your genetic prowess your fitness may stay with you longer rather than taking off right away. I don't seem to have that luxury. A recent few days off had me feeling slow on the run and ready to give up. Fortunately the upcoming race motivated me to keep going. I could have easily gotten discouraged enough to slide into an exercise funk.

The good news is that with some effort fitness always comes back. I know that I'm building a strong base so I don't go back to square one after a lazy period. It's hard to face but I learned that as I get older I'm going to have to work harder to keep my fitness. She doesn't age like I do and she's very unsympathetic to my excuses, no matter how creative.

For the whippersnappers out there - don't let your fitness go! Follow every exercise trend or stick with what you love. Just don't stop. Ever. Or your fitness and mine will be hanging out together somewhere in the sun and talking about the lazybones they left on the sofa.

Yours in training,
Annette

4 Weeks Until Showtime

2008-08-11T13:51:00.005-05:00

Barring some massive injury, I will be on the beach on September 7th, 2008 for my first (and maybe only) half ironman triathlon. Today I'm feeling psyched for it but over the last two weeks I have been so down about my training I wanted to give up. I know I won't. It hasn't been anxiety, at least that is a good thing. I was able to point to a few things that might be causing this crisis of confidence:

1. PMS - you are so lame, my monthly friend.
2. The Beach to Beacon 10k - a great race but it sucked the life out of me for a week.
3. Burnout - I signed up for the half iron on Halloween day in 2007. I've been focused on this race for the last nine months. I'm getting tired, mentally.

I finally got back in the pool today, inspired by the swimming events at the Summer Olympics. The water made me feel so good. I also have some great workouts coming up. For example another huge stack of bricks this sunday which will total 38 miles on the bike and 7 run. Next week I'm on vacation and I start to taper. I'll do a final big bike and run on the 24th.

I promised myself I'd use this post to banish the negative thoughts and start the personal pep talks I'm so fond of. Lately I've been cursing myself (and I do hold the title of "Cousin with the Filthiest Mouth") so my inner language has been quite colorful.

I'm going to use my vacation time to try to quiet the voices in my head and accept where I am mentally and physically. I can do a post mortem on my training regimen in September after the race. I already know where I've fallen short and will make changes in the future.

In the meantime send a positive vibe my way. I'll need every ounce of energy I can get!

Best,
Annette

Vineyard 30+ Mile Bike Route

2008-08-07T10:39:00.003-05:00

Here's a new thing I'm trying. I used Map My Run to map out my Vineyard Bike Route. I should have used Map My Ride but it's the same effect. They say I can put the map on my blog. Let's try it:

NOPE! Didn't work. Sorry...

Did it work? I'll publish and find out.

Beach 2 Beacon 2008

2008-08-01T10:59:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the Beach to Beacon race day. I've never run it before! Isn't that a lovely logo? I'm excited to see how it goes. I know it's going to be a challenging race. The course is beautiful, winding through Cape Elizabeth here in Maine. I've ridden the route as part of my long bikes to work. Before the harvest I found that Cape Elizabeth smells like the ocean, cut grass, and strawberries. Very pleasant indeed. We'll see what we get tomorrow as the horde of 5500 runners storms the course.

How am I feeling? Strange today. It's August and the half ironman is 37 days away. In a previous post I talked about the anxiety I get at the beginning of a race. I forgot to mention that I did *not* feel that way for Mooseman. It could be that I was mentally prepared for the distances but I'm not really sure. I have a few more big workouts to do this month. There's a stack of bricks to do on the 17th (bike 60 min, run 30 min, bike 60 min, run 30 min, bike 30 min, run 15 min) and then a long bike (30 miles) with a 5k following it on the 24th. Other than that it's all recovery and maintenance workouts until the final taper.

I'm going to stick to the plan and follow through with the workouts. Once the half is over there's one more race, the Peak Performance Maine Marathon in October. I won't be running the whole thing, just the half marathon at 13.1 miles. After that it's rest, overwinter workouts and tattoo time.

Summer [Food] of Love

2008-07-29T09:58:00.002-05:00

I try to be pretty positive on this blog, but today I need to come clean about something. It's no secret that I love to eat and have a big appetite. I also know how hard I've been working: I have over 300 miles on the bike logged this month, plus 49 miles running and over 5000 meters of swimming. So what's the problem? My weight.

Last week I went to a concert and wore my "show pants" which have cool cargo pockets on the legs, eliminating the need for a purse. I stood there, hands in my front pockets and thought, "wow, these feel a little tight." I didn't think much of it.

Summer is the time for good fun and good food - burgers and dogs on the grill, s'mores at the campfire, ice cream cones on the way home from the beach. I love it all! I thought that all my exercise would give me a free pass to indulge as I pleased. This turned out to be a false assumption.

Since June I've gained about 7 pounds. Yes! 7! I don't mind a little squish here and there but it's starting to get out of hand. My buddy, Mr. Scale, tells me that I have gained muscle but my fat percentage has remained constant. That means fatter. I'm also dehydrated with a 47% water percentage. Not good news. I wouldn't mind the number if I were getting leaner but the digital readout and the mirror tell me otherwise. I don't kid myself and I take full responsibility. I ate all that food! I am very disappointed because there are 5 1/2 weeks before the half iron. I know I do NOT want to carry around all this extra junk for 70.3 miles. I'm so annoyed with myself!

So what to do? I took action this morning by employing old standby, calorie counting. I know, *yawn*, but it works. My plan is to hold myself to 1800-2000 calories (no less than 1500) this week and see what happens. I'm also going to go cold turkey on chips and ice cream. I will hold to my training plan and fuel my body with quality food. Not always easy for a lazy, hungry person like me. We'll see if we can shave off some of the fat. On race day, leaner is better. The goal is to keep the muscle and remain strong.

Your friend in training,
Annette

Validation and What's Your "B"?

2008-07-21T07:58:00.002-05:00

I've been reading this book to help me get the best out of my training time as I work towards the half ironman in September. Some of the information is really confusing with "lactate thresholds", "anaerobic vs. aerobic workouts", "periodization in training", etc. But one thing Joe says jumped right out at me. The chapter discusses fitness and explains that increasing your fitness takes years. That's right, years. I'll come back to that in a minute.

Joe also talks about maintaining one's fitness level. This is the validation part. You know how when you're less than fit, and you see that guy or girl running along the path and you feel jealous? "Oh look, it's easy for them to run like that while I'm walking here, huffing and puffing." You are correct! It IS easy for them because they have probably been running like that for years. It doesn't mean they are not working hard. But their lungs, heart and muscles are so used to it that it doesn't hurt and probably feels really good to them.

Don't despair. I have improved my fitness from years back when I gazed with longing at the kids playing on the monkey bars and those first few laps in the pool. I'm learning about the "Triathletes Triangle" measuring Endurance, Force and Speed. It got me to thinking about how one goes from A to B. My B is the quest for fitness, the goals I set for myself. My B used to be an hourlong walk or 500 meters in the pool. But it keeps moving out on me. In 2008 my B is 35 mile bike rides to work and "bricks" - bike/run workouts stacked on the weekends.

What is your B? It could be as simple as taking a hike or deciding to move around a little more. It could be taking a little bike ride with the kids or getting your heart rate up with a swim at the beach. It doesn't matter. It's a personal decision. The good news is that even though it may take a long time, even years, each year it will be a easier to do that activity and hopefully that will encourage you to go a little farther or try something new. Don't stop.

I never imagined I would attempt a half ironman distance triathlon. 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run. I'm scared. But my training rides have shown me my speed is up and my runs still feel great. I'm smiling at the end of a 10k and my mental check "can I do that again?" tells me "yes, I can." There are about 7 weeks left to go before the half. I'll let you know how it goes.

Athletes toolbox

2008-07-02T09:17:00.005-05:00

Thanks to my cousin Jessy I get to talk more about racing. Thanks, Jess! She specifically asked about three things: Chips, Speed Laces, and Gels.

Chips, or timing chips, are little electronic devices that are strapped to your ankle with velcro. It's coded to your bib number and knows everything about you that pertains to race day. Your name, how old you are, and your gender. When the race begins, whether it's running or triathlon, the "gun" goes off. But not everyone crosses the start at the same time. When the athlete moves past a sensor, the chip signals the offical start time for that person. The clock is running. In triathlon, there are offical times for the swim, transition 1 (from swim to bike), the bike, transition 2 (from bike to run) and finally the run. Chip readers are located at entry and exit points for each event. In my previous post I mentioned someone called my name when I came out of the water. When I passed the sensor, my name came up on a laptop and that's how they knew who I was. Mystery solved!

Speed laces are miracles of elastic. I use Yankz! brand shoe laces. They replace regular tie shoe laces with pre-tied stretchy ones. I had to get my PhD in shoe tying to lace them correctly but the video got me through. I just slip my running shoes on and off I go. Brilliant.

I could devote a whole post to race day and training nutrition but I'll stick to the gels to keep it short. For Mooseman I used Powerbar brand gels. It's a small packet of sweet stuff that has 110 calories and 27g of carbohydrates. The chocolate flavor has the consistency of canned frosting but the vanilla is more pudding-like. It's slightly less sweet than those two items. Gels are designed to fuel you up on the go without giving you a bellyache. You tear off the tab, squish it into your mouth and wash down with some water. Sounds gross but working hard makes everything taste delicious. I am able to tuck the packets under the elastic of each leg of my bicycle shorts. It doesn't slip and I can grab and eat it while I'm riding.

There's a multitude of supplements but I'll save that for another post. Powerbar is a great resource and their products are tasty, too. I also use Clif brand products. They are super yummy, high energy food.

I hope that helps explain some things. I think I know about less than 1% of all the products available for athletes but I'm always learning. I'm still training for the half iron and even though I worry about making it through I'll keep at it.

Best,
Annette

Mooseman Triathlon 6/7/08- I did it!

2008-06-09T15:34:00.011-05:00

Hi Everyone, here is a picture of me, pre-race, up in Bristol, New Hampshire. Oh man what an awesome time it was! I may look a little pensive, but I was just focused on the race. It was about 6am when I took the picture. My bike was racked in transition, stuff laid out, and I was almost ready to go. Let me start at the beginning...

I stayed at my friend Betty's house, about an hour away. She wisely had me up at 4:15am so I could get a parking spot inside the park. Many folks struggled with their stuff, riding in from far away so I was glad of this. I arrived around 5:40 and got oriented. I grabbed my race packet and used the bike assistance to pump up my tires. After I set up my transition area I went back to the car to take the above photo and get my running shoes set up with speed laces. Who wants to tie their shoes? I also took the time to finish the Odwalla protein drink (so delicious) which landed on top of the Clif bar I had eaten at 5:00am. I was fueled.

I guess I was a little nervous putting on my wetsuit because I forgot to use body glide on my ankles and I had to struggle to get it on. It makes you feel like a sausage! Once I was suited up I headed to the beach for the long wait. We were socked in with fog and the USAT officials wouldn't allow the start until we could see the second buoy. A problem. They ended up shortening the swim to 2/3 of a mile (instead of .93). I didn't feel too sad because the water was 60 degrees and it would still be challenging. Finally, they let us go!

There's nothing like getting kicked in the head and swimming over people in freezing cold water. I don't remember feeling cold at all, just a little disoriented in the fog. I really had trouble maintaining my direction but I kept at it and finally hit the sand at the shore. The fun part was once my ankle chip swiped they knew my name and someone shouted "Go Annette!" That was cool.

Mooseman offers an amazing service - wetsuit stripping. I was hustled to an area of helpful people that ripped my suit off (carefully) eliminating the need to do it myself. I moved on to my transition area and began fumbling with my Clif gel. My hands were very cold and clumsy so I used my teeth to rip it open. Somehow I got my cycling shoes on (no socks, forgot 'em), my helmet strapped and my bike off the rack. It was a long transition, 5:20, and I know I can do better next time. I remembered to tuck a gel under each leg of my shorts, tab sticking out. That's a strategy that works great for me.

It took about ten minutes into the bike to get my head straight. I had to make a quick stop because my computer sensor was knocking against the spokes (bad), and another because I thought I dropped my chain. I gave myself a stern talking to at that point, "Focus! Think about what you're doing!" and then things started rolling. There was a hill that came up at mile 4, rolling up, then flat, then super steep. Positive self talk and the granny gear saved the day. I also thanked Mother Nature for creating Mitchell Hill near my home, allowing me to train on a much steeper and brutal hill.

I passed lots of slow folks on the bike and came to the realization that it wasn't their fitness that slowed them down but rather their equipment. I had a chat with a man on a mountain bike who was riding with flat pedals and no toe clips! I felt a little sorry for him but happy for my own bicycle which was performing wonderfully. I told myself I was on a ride, having a good time, and not to worry. I ate a gel at mile 10 and another at mile 22. I was squirming for the last five miles - are we there yet? When I arrived back folks were cheering and encouraging. I got misty-eyed!

The transition to the run was faster, about half the time. Even though I was drinking during the bike I downed a Gatorade and then popped my running shoes on. At Betty's suggestion I wore a hat to keep the sun off my head and I took off. Betty said take water at every opportunity and keep as cool as possible. Every station I approached I asked for two waters. I drank one and dumped the other on my head and clothes. I kept checking in with myself, "how do I feel? I feel good. Do I need to walk? No, not today."

The last mile felt SO long. But I crossed the finish line with a total time of 3:14 and felt fantastic. I had some post race grub, hung out a little, then headed home. I rested Sunday, rode a little bike on Monday, swam Tuesday and Wednesday, ran 4 miles Wednesday, and rode 12 on Thursday. I was tired, body and spirit, until Thursday.

The next focus is Pumpkinman Half Iron. I have a ton of work ahead of me. But Mooseman has given me the confidence to keep training and look ahead to that. Thanks to all of you who took the time to read this. I do appreciate all your encouragement and support!

Best,
Annette

Body Parts: Pain Management

2008-05-19T08:01:00.003-05:00

Mile 4 of a 6 mile run...

Left Hip: Ow, ow, ow ow, OW!

Brain: I know. I'm working on it.

Left Hip: It hurts, Brain!

Legs: Don't we have some of that....stuff?

Brain: No. She didn't take any Advil before she left. We're on our own. Don't worry. I'm releasing some endorphins now. Finger, change the song. We need something hard and fast.

Finger: O.k., how's this?

Ears: Nope...nope....too slow...no...

Finger: Say when.

Ears: No...Stop! I mean when! Metallica. That is so awesome. "Gimme Fuel Gimme Fire Give me that which I desire!!!"

Lungs: Brain! Help!

Brain: Voice! No singing. We're running right now.

Voice: Sorry dude. I just get so excited.

Brain: It's o.k.

Left knee: Ow! Ow! Me too now!

Brain: Oh man, this is a bummer. Finger, make the song louder. We need maximum distraction.

Finger: Roger that.

Brain: O.k. everyone, listen up. She's not stopping. You all know that. Feet and legs, no favoring it. Keep moving. We're almost there.

Legs: We won't let you down, Brain!

Feet: We feel great!

Brain: Lungs, deep breaths. Spine, this is all you...she's got that compression thing going again. We'll do some yoga poses when we get back, open you up a little.

Spine: Namaste.

Eyes: Look! There's the stop sign!

Brain: Good deal. Hang in there. I'm going to go away for a couple of minutes, make her think about something else. You all right, Hip and Knee?

Left Hip: I'm o.k., I've been here before. I feel a little better.

Left Knee: I'm a little wobbly. A little loose. But I'll make it.

Brain: You guys rock. I'll check in at the house. Forward motion folks, no stopping!

Woman vs. Mountain (Of Fears)

2008-05-15T09:44:00.002-05:00

Let me start out by pointing out the positive. The training is going great. I run bike or swim almost everyday and even participated in the first race of the season, the Sea Dogs Mother's Day 5K. It was a blast!

The other day I had a conversation with my physical fitness-minded sister. She asked, "what's your motivation to race?" "Why are you doing it?" One reason is that if I do not have a fixed goal I will not get out of bed. Exercising for my appearance or general good health isn't enough to push myself. I'm inherently lazy. As I've discussed in past posts I'm the queen of procrastination and manufacturing excuses to remain immobile. I purposely entered in the two tris, Mooseman and Pumpkinman, in a strategy to get me moving early in the season and keep me there all summer.

The second reason makes me uncomfortable, and causes me to squirm in my seat a little. While I do love to train and race, doing the actual racing scares me. A lot. For example, Mooseman is 11 days away and if I think about it for more than a few minutes I can work myself up something fierce. Why is it scary? It shouldn't be. It's exciting and tons of fun. Only I can't get to the fun feeling until I'm rounding the first buoy. Standing on the beach in a sea of wetsuits and brightly colored caps my heart pounds and I'm ready to flee. I get angry at myself for feeling that way, especially when I've worked so hard. The only way for me to fight back is to dive in when the gun goes off and start swimming.

Anxiety, the needless worry kind, is a part of my life. I pretty much hate it. My way of fighting back is to do anything that makes me afraid (except rollerblading) and finish. Whether it's getting in the open water, or riding up a steep hill, I say "I tri, I finish" until I cross under the finish banner. So far I haven't conquered the fear, because I keep feeling it at every race start. But I'm going to keep racing until I don't, and hopefully that will lead me to a lifetime of training and, subsequently, fitness.

PMS, Training and Your Period. EWWW!!!

2008-04-11T08:08:00.004-05:00

***WARNING*** If you are a man, this post may make you extremely uncomfortable, squirm in your seat, and have a sudden urge to check into the Holiday Inn for a week.

The following is an actual exchange between me and the voice in my head (me):

[Sitting in the parking lot of the pool, car engine off]

"You really don't want to go in there."

"I know, but..."

"You're tired, and crampy, plus you already rode the bike this morning."

"But I drove all the way here."

"It doesn't matter. Just go to the mall. You can have lunch. You don't feel well."

"I'm getting out of the car."

"You could be at Panera in ten minutes"

"I'm getting out of the car." [Out loud] "GET OUT OF THE CAR!"

I don't know about you but I have these conversations quite frequently. Most often at 5:15am when I *really* don't want to get out of bed. But this one was targeting me right where I live, every month, with PMS.

I love being a girl. I wouldn't change that for the world. It's cool to be a chick. Our bodies are so special. We get to make babies, have all these extra sexy parts, and wear lipstick. When it comes to training, however, there is that monthly drawback - the dreaded period.

I've read articles and books about women and triathlon. They discuss training while on the Pill and the effects of low body fat and missed periods. Pretty good stuff. But no where did I read about the monthly effect PMS and your period can have on your training plan, or God forbid, race day. I mean who wants to swim, bike and run 70.3 miles with a tampon? Ewwww! Gross! (See guys, I told ya).

Even though I'm done having kids (thank you, Dr. A.) I still need the old uterus. It's a part of my body that I know contributes to making me feel pretty, a highly desireable state. I wear lipstick to work out and even race! The uterus is a marvelous organ of muscle, so skilled at cradling our babies for nine months, then working diligently to expel the little bundles from our bodies. It's disgusting. I mean beautiful! Yeah, that's it. I have a theory that if pregnant women in labor were treated like athletes, instead of sick people, they would feel less afraid and empowered. But that is a topic for another post.

Waking up slightly nauseous, with a lower backache and cramps is enough to derail the best laid training plan. You all know what I mean. And a bad mood? I get one. The claws and fangs come out. My loved ones know to hide from me, poor things.

Here's the good news. I thought about it and decided that even though I had all those symptoms I really WAS well enough to work out. I wasn't injured in any way. I was still as strong as the day before. My muscles were still fueled with the good protein, carbohydrates and fats I gave them. I was as ready as any other day to train. The monthly cycle changes my brain chemistry for a brief period, a cruel trick that tries to rob me of the desire to do what I love. I won't allow that to happen. Curling up with a hot water bottle might make me feel better temporarily, but it won't make me any stronger or faster for race day. I silence the voices with the promise that I'll pamper myself AFTER training, and then I get to work.

Body Parts: The Meeting

2008-04-03T08:18:00.002-05:00

Week 3 of Triathlon Training Season

Brain: O.k. everyone, let’s get the meeting started. We have several issues to discuss. She’s starting to get real organized with her training now that it’s Spring. The International Distance tri is only 9 weeks away. You guys have been great pulling together – she appreciates that. Let’s start with the hungry issue. Stomach? Can you please report?

Stomach: Oh man, you guys, you have no idea. I’m rumbling, like, ALL the time. SO hungry! She eats her stupid little snack bars, and gels, but I can’t keep anything in me. I’m getting killed here!

Mouth: Remember the pasta for breakfast? Mac and cheese at 9am. Mmmmm.

Stomach: Oh yeah, that was awesome. With cinnamon raisin oatmeal for dessert.

Legs: Yeah dude! Set us up but good for yesterday’s 4 miler. We kicked it.

Nose: And did you smell those burgers when we ran past RiRa’s?

Feet: We almost stopped in our tracks!

Brain: I know. I hit override. She didn’t have any money. All right. I think I know where this is heading. Metabolism?

Metabolism: Yes Brain. I’m just doing my job here. Burning calories like mad in response to all this training. Swimming, biking, running – it takes it’s toll on me, ya know? She’s gotta eat!

Brain: It’s all good. We know you burn the fuel. But you need to make a switch, start burning some of the fat. She got that new scale, you know.

Eyes: Oh my God did you see that? It is so slick. Tells you the weight, fat percentage and water percentage. Rocks.

Body Fat: Hey, hold on there a minute! What’re you saying Brain?

Brain: You know what I’m saying. You need to let go, BF.

Body Fat: What? Us? Do you see those curves, man? We bring sexy back! And what about keeping her warm?

Brain: She wears a hat.

Body Fat: I mean, what about the floating? She can float in the pool like nobody’s business. You need us!

Lungs: Hey, we have a little bit to do with that floating business.

Body Fat: Shut. Up!

Brain: I know. Don’t get me wrong. But you need to shrink up. Not one of your little cells will be gone. Only liposuction can do that.

Body Fat: DON’T say it! DON’T say that word! It’s murder!

Brain: Settle down. You see, when she got that new scale, well, you kind of came into focus. She doesn’t care about the weight number any more. Just you.

Body Fat: You’re killing me here!

Brain: We don’t want to eliminate you. Just reduce by a few pounds. You’ll feel so much better, I promise.

Legs: And we’ll be faster! No more hauling around all that junk in the trunk!

Butt: Hey!

Legs: Butt, you so sexy, mwah!

Butt: Cut it out.

Brain: O.k. Here’s the deal. Metabolism, you need to focus on burning some of the existing body fat during the workouts.

Metabolism: But I’m programmed to preserve that! It’s for emergencies only!

Brain: Contrary to popular belief, the famine is NOT coming. She can live without some of it, I promise.

Metabolism: Oh…I don’t know…

Brain: Trust me. It will be fine. And don’t worry, we’re still going to keep the food coming.

Stomach: Hurray! I thought you forgot about me.

Brain: Don’t be silly. We’re not going to starve her, just change it up.

Mouth: Can we have a steak? I can’t stop thinking about it. Steak, potatoes and peas. Oh my. It’s making me crazy.

Brain: I’ll work on that. Send her shopping. Steak on the grill, mashed potatoes, peas, you name it. Whatever you want.

Mouth: Dude, I’ll be your best friend.

Brain: Sweet. Body Fat, it will be o.k. We’re just going to trim her up, get faster and stronger. Winter is over and it’s time to stop being so lazy.

Body Fat: Lazy is what I do best!

Brain: I know. That’s why I’m in charge. O.k., thanks everyone. Great job heading for goal this week. We’ve got 4 hours down and 4 to do. Swim today and then 10k tomorrow!

Legs: Yeehaw!

Brain: Back to work!

Gravity: $0. Moving your bad self: Priceless

2007-11-05T10:27:00.000-05:00

Look. There's me, somewhere up there in North America.

Yesterday afternoon I was at a crossroads. I hadn't gotten any exercise in two days, I was losing the light and didn't feel like doing much. After an internal discussion with the voices in my head (just stay home, ride the exercise bike, go for a run, ride the bike outside) I settled on an old friend. I went for a walk. This momentous decision required changing my footwear to sneakers and putting on my coat. It was seriously low impact and allowed me to play with my ipod and choose slow songs I don't generally listen to when I'm kicking my workout. I was at peace.

I had the time to reflect on an article I read recently which discussed whether running burns more calories than a step class. The author reported that running burns more becuase you are moving your body against the force of gravity. This was an epiphany for me. It's like our planet is one giant piece of exercise equipment. No gym fees, it's available 24x7, and doesn't require any special equipment for the exerciser. If you can walk from your house to your car you can burn calories. Sneakers are optional. I've walked in motorcycle boots and other comfortable shoes. The trick is going farther than the car in your driveway. How far should one go? Sure, check with your proverbial doctor but if you can walk for 40 to 60 minutes a day you can burn calories and increase your fitness.

I'm still going to train but it was nice to relax with a walk on a cool Fall day. I stayed in my jeans, didn't get sweaty but still moved forward, stretching my legs. Then I was back home and I let Gravity pull me back down on the sofa for some snacks and football. A very pleasant afternoon, indeed.

Kids: Natural Triathletes. Don't lose it

2007-09-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

My fitness goals this summer focused on completing two sprint triathlons, the Wildbear in June, and Pumpkinman in September. I chose those two as bookends to motivate me to get moving in the Spring and maintain the pace throughout the Summer. Otherwise I could see myself slacking and losing focus. My strategy worked and I had a great time racing.

I realized that I haven't been this fit since I was about 8 years old. A lucky kid, I spent my summers swimming until my lips were blue, riding bikes with other kids, and running around playing tag until bedtime. Triathlon breaks down to these three same basics: Swim, Bike and Run. I've noticed that my three kids are falling in to the same pattern and it will be my goal to make sure they don't lose this level of activity as they grow older.

When I hit middle school and then high school it was all about team sports. If triathlon had been an option, I think I would have signed right up. After some fun with gymnastics but never excelling in the sport I found I didn't have much to focus on. This led to a long hiatus in regular exercise.

I am glad I found triathlon. After racing these two sprints my goals for next summer are to complete an Olympic distance tri in June, Mooseman Triathlon and then a half Ironman distance added to Pumpkinman. I'm scared but determined to train for the first ever half Ironman to be held in Maine. A 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and a 13.1 mile run.

My kids sometimes complain about me being away from them to train. When I mentioned that kids can compete too my oldest daughter, almost 8 years old, became very excited. Kids' tris are usually untimed events with much shorter distances. But there is no doubt that the excitement of going the course will reach even the youngest participant. I hope all my kids learn to love triathlon but even if they don't like to compete they can still enjoy the basics. Swim. Bike. Run.

Body Parts 2

2007-08-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

Mile 20 of a 40 Mile Bike Ride

Legs: Wahoo! This is awesome. You guys checkin' us out? We are ON today.

Heart: For once...

Brain: Looking good legs, we're taking a break in a minute.

Legs: Yeah, that'll be great. We feel a little wonky. What was up with that breakfast?

Stomach: I dunno. I wasn't feeling so good this morning. All she had was a banana.

Mouth: Yeah, didn't taste so super.

Brain: Don't worry, she packed an energy bar. She'll eat when we stop. Eyes, scan for a good place, something safe, off the road.

Eyes: Roger that.

Legs: Dude! Did y'all check out that hill at mile 16?

Eyes: Yeah! We saw that and went wide.

Mouth: I made a little "O".

Stomach: I got that pit, like when I get scared.

Legs: Totally. We got a bit watery, ourselves. But we rocked it, didn't we? A little assist from the hands on the gearing and we were good to go.

Hands: Thank you very much.

Legs: Hey, are we there yet?

Brain: Pulling in now. Going to manual. Feet, click out and stop.

Feet: Stopping...now.

Legs: Where's the food, dude?

Brain: Relax, she's overheating. Give us a second to get organized.

Arms: She's got the long sleeve shirt off, we're reaching for the little pack...there it is!

Hands: We have the bar!

Mouth: Bring it on!

Stomach: I'm ready for it. I feel great now.

[2 Minutes pass]

Legs: What the heck is going on? Where is it? We're bonking!

Left Hand: I have the bar right here...

Eyes: It says...give us a sec..."Chocolate Peanut Crunch"

Mouth: Oh my God.

Right Hand: For chrissakes, I'm trying to stuff the shirt in the little bag. It won't fit.

Legs: Brain...!

Brain: Alright, initiating override, Right Hand, let go of the shirt...now. Tear the wrapper.

Right Hand: I got it, I got it.

Mouth: Gimme a bite! [chewing] Oh man you guys, this tastes SOOO good, you have no idea.

Legs: Yeah baby! Stomach, get to work!

Stomach: Swallow some of it! Give it to me!

Mouth: Mmmmm. Here you go.

Legs: Ahhhh

Stomach: Mouth, where's the rest?

Mouth: I don't know. She just stopped.

Eyes: I know! She's looking at the label. It says, "calories, 240"

Legs: Brain! Why is she checking out the calories? We need them all! We can't stand it when she pulls that half bar crap. We have to ride the 20 back!

Brain: All set. I just pressed the "cookie button." Inhibitions have been negated. She's going to finish it. See? And Right Hand, pick up that chocolate chip that dropped on the seat. Give it to Mouth.

Mouth: This is so awesome. Two more bites. Can I have a drink?

Brain: Absolutely. Everyone, get ready. Stomach, you good?

Stomach: Workin' away, Brain, strong like bull.

Brain: Righteous. Legs?

Legs: Stomach, you rock. We feel better already. Pedaling!

Brain: Good teamwork, folks, let's ride!

Body Parts

2007-07-18T09:12:00.000-05:00

--Mile 4.27 of a 30 mile bike ride--

Heart: Jesus H. Christ. I can't take this anymore! I'm working like a pooch here, Brain, do something!

Brain: Hey, did you see that guy on the tractor?

Heart: Brain!

Brain: Sorry. What's up?

Heart: It's the legs again. I'm pumping and pumping blood and they STILL won't get moving. Again.

Lungs: And for the love of God PLEASE make her stop singing.

Brain: Hold up. Voice!

Voice: "I wanna heal, I wanna feel..." What? You talking to me?

Ears: Yo, we're rockin' the head phones, dude, that sound ain't bothering us.

Lungs: It's the breath, you idiots, we need the air.

Ears: What an ass.

Butt: Don't drag me into this! I'm minding my own business here. Sitting on my seat!

Brain: Be cool, everybody. Voice, be silent for a minute.

Voice: Whatever, man, you're the project manager.

Heart: Brain, if you don't do something quick I'm going to have a total fit. Real palpitations this time. I have to work ALL the time. Everyone gets to slack except me!

Brain: Settle down, I hear you. Legs! Wake up!

Legs: [stretching] Hey there! 'Morning everyone, what's up? We going dancing? There's music playing.

Brain: No, Legs, we're on a bike ride, remember? It's the long one. We talked about this.

Legs: Bike ride...right! That is so dope. She eat breakfast?

Stomach: Yup! Cinnamon raisin bagel, toasted, with peanut butter and cinnamon sugar. I'm almost done with it.

Mouth: It was delicious.

Legs: Sweet. One or two?

Stomach: Just one. And some water.

Mouth: I'm thirsty again. Can I have a drink?

Brain: In a minute.

Legs: That's not going to hold us. Can we burn some of that junk in the trunk?

Butt: Hey!

Legs: Just kidding, little buddy, you look terrific. We love you. All muscle, baby!

Butt: I'm very sensitive! You know this.

Legs: C'mon, dude, it's all good.

Brain: I've got it covered. Metabolism will supply fuel by mile 20. But legs, you need to kick it into high gear. Heart and lungs are tired.

Arms: We're not tired!

Back: Me neither.

Heart: What a bunch of brown nosers.

Colon: I take offense to that.

Nose: Me too.

Brain: That's enough. O.k., everybody, let's work together now. Good. I checked the pleasure center and she feels like a million. O.k. heart?

Heart: Yeah, I'm good.

Brain: Excellent. Voice?

Voice: I'm here.

Brain: Rock on.

Voice: Awesome. "I'm WAN-ted...dead or AH-live..."

Brain: Good work, people, let's ride bikes!

Turning 40 is fun!

2007-03-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

Having fun is an important part of your fitness plan. I encourage it!

Maintenance: Not an ugly word

2007-02-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

When I started losing weight I was frequently asked, "how much are you trying to lose? What's your goal?" I really didn't have a specific number in mind which made it hard to respond. I wanted to lose it all, every little bit of fat that offended me, made my clothes too tight and me uncomfortable in my own skin. What I found out is that, after losing about 25 pounds (hurray for me!) I still have a little softness, a little roundness, in all the right places. I call it "sexy fat." You might say, eeewwww gross! But with the backlash against super skinniness I think I'm right on target.

The other part of the equation was effort. My weight loss, while not effortless, was done in a reasonable fashion. Since I was looking to make the change for life I ate regular food, exercised, and really watched those calories. I held to about 1400 per day. If I felt like having something sweet, I ate it and didn't agonize about it. Maybe I did sometimes but I tried not to obsess about food. This was where working with a nutritionist was really helpful. She was one of my best cheerleaders.

I have been at my "end" weight for about two months now. I know, not a super long time but I still feel successful. I keep a close eye by weighing myself almost every day. I've mentioned that me and Mr. Scale are buds. The number tends to fluctuate 2-4 pounds. For example, it took two weeks to shed the pounds I gained over superbowl weekend. Taquitos, anyone? I also write the number down on the back of a business card that I keep in my underwear drawer. I can quickly scan how I've been doing so I don't fall so far away from where I think I should be.

I still "snack" on different exercises. During the winter, running has fallen by the wayside because I don't have a treadmill. But I replaced it with stationary cycling. I still also have swimming, walking, weightlifting and the delicious hot yoga. Summer triathloning is right around the corner.

It's almost March, and I have a big birthday coming up. I'm glad I reached this level of physical fitness although it's always a work on progress. I'll let you know how it goes and if I'm able to keep moving forward and feeling fabulous.

I lift weights in pajamas

2006-11-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

It's true. In a previous post I talked about loathing having to go anyplace to work out. I found out this even applies to my basement, where a user friendly set up was created by my husband in order to work out. The one place I don't mind going in the morning is the bathroom. I put a few dumbbells under the sink and some mornings I actually lift them. There is a big mirror in there, good for watching my form, and the tub, for kneeling on as a bench. So far I'm able to do bicep, tricep and back exercises. I'm averaging about 2-3 times per week which I think is a good start. I'm very easy on myself.

The weight loss has been going pretty well. I've lost 20 pounds so far and I've taken to a "snacking" form of exercise. I try to do some sort of exercise on the prescribed "most days" which means either swimming, walking, weightlifting or yoga or a combination of two. I've stuck with the yoga, because it feels SO good, even when it's difficult. I'm hoping it will help straighten my spine, bent from years of crouching over a keyboard. I try to be an opportunist - grabbing a walk in the afternoon or hitting the weights in the bathroom.

I used to think I needed the right exercise clothes, sneakers, etc. For some exercise, it's essential. But for an exercise snacker like me, slipping on the old shoes with my jammies works just fine. I get it done.

Eating less...what a concept

2006-09-23T22:43:00.000-05:00

A good thing has happened to me this Fall. I started working with a nutritionist because pretty much everything I have tried to do to lose weight and eat healthy has failed. I consider Fall to be a time for change for me - time to focus and start something new. The nutritionist, Michelle, introduced me to the new food pyramid, mypyramid.gov, and counseled me on eating well. I'm happy to say I've lost 11 pounds so far and my goal is opened-ended. What I mean by that is that I'm headed for fitness, not just a number of pounds. I'll know when I get there because I will be fit - swimming and training for the sprint distance triathlons next summer. I'm going to stay there by continuing to see Michelle periodically. I told her I can get in a groove: cravings disappear and healthy eating is easy. But I also said I will need her when I start to get into bad habits again. My motivation to do anything is cyclical and my willpower will flag eventually. If I can admit it, I can deal with it.

I am at a crossroads in my life. In my 30's I used my body to make babies. It was hard and exhausting work. I feel as if I can choose to live a sedentary and overweight life or fight back and be fit. I'm choosing fitness but I know I need help with motivation both for proper nutrition and exercise. I'm drawing on all my resources for exercise, to swim and then add biking and running. If I surround myself with folks who value exercise then I find their enthusiasm infects me as well.

This past August I participated in a relay team in the Pine Tree Triathlon here in Maine. I was the swimmer. After not training the entire month of July I was seriously nervous about the 800 meters. I was slow which disappointed me but my teammates were very good sports about it and picked up the slack. We all had fun. I'm really looking forward to tri-ing again and this time doing all the events. Cross training swimming, biking and running is a recipe for fitness. Couple that with good eating and I feel confident I will reach my goals.

This is your brain on power yoga

2006-07-16T06:01:00.000-05:00

I tried something new this week and I would classify the experience as one of the most difficult workouts I have ever attempted. My husband took me out on a "yoga date" to the new Portland Power Yoga studio in Portland, Maine.

Yoga is not for me. I've always maintained that. I believed in the mental and physical health benefits but thought it was too slow and boring. Don't forget, when I'm doing something unpleasant my brain is counting the minutes until it is over. To me, that defeats the purpose. Then I tried Power Yoga.

A friend of mine attended the Baron Baptiste yoga studio in Massachusetts and told me she spent most of the time on the floor roasting and being unable to move. You see, that's the secret. They heat the room to one hundred degrees or so and you do yoga in this superheated sauna. Since I'm a cold person wearing fleece in the office in July, I thought I might like it.

Our instructor, Alice, told me not to worry about being a beginner. She said to listen to my body and rest when necessary using the child's pose. That advice turned out to be how I spent most of the 90 minutes of practice. Alice was skilled in explaining how to do the pose in a way that didn't make me twist my neck to look at her every time. She walked the room adjusting and correcting our poses while encouraging us. Meahwhile, it's getting hotter and hotter. I mean New York City in the middle of a heatwave at high noon, without the pollution.

About twenty minutes into the practice, I started to feel sick. We were doing some quick transitions from the floor to standing positions and my sluggish, non-yoga circulatory system could not keep up. Then came the spots in front of my eyes and I thought I was going to hurl, right there on my mat. I got up to leave but Alice stopped me and put me in the child's pose, telling me to rest. There I stayed, the sweat pouring out of me, occasionally making some feeble attempts to participate.

At the end of class I felt dazed and light headed. A cool shower later had me much refreshed. I felt calm, peaceful and tired but not in an exhausted way. I was able to take the time to reflect on what Alice was saying during the class. She spoke about transformation and said it's available to everyone. I really keyed in on that because how often do the voices in our head tell us we can't change or we always have to behave a certain way? She said it cuts across how we look and act, our careers and our relationships. That is a pretty strong claim. I felt good enough afterwards to try again so we'll see where the power yoga journey takes us. Namaste.

The Scale Is Not My Enemy

2006-06-07T21:02:00.000-05:00

Unlike a lot of people, I don't hate my bathroom scale. I have pet name for it, he's called Mr. Scale. Sometimes Mr. Scale has good news for me, by providing a "good" number but lately all the news has been unfit to print. I don't blame the scale because I see it as a neutral party in my quest for fitness, perhaps even rooting for me a little bit. "She needs a boost, I'll lighten up for her today," I imagine my scale thinking. But I really know it's just me, the food I eat and the exercise I don't get enough of.

I am really in the mood for excuses. I can be pretty hard core with myself but I want to be indulgent just this once. I'll list them:

My dog hurt her knee so I stopped walking her (she's better now)
My kids won't go to bed at night
I get PMS and eat like crazed maniac
Lunchtime meetings have crept in at work and I've missed my swims
After one day calorie counting became boring so I stopped

Those are about the lamest excuses I could come up with! And I was really trying. But I read something recently that struck me so odd I'm working on a way to apply it to fitness. It was a quote from a success inspiration book that read, "to be successful, do something unpleasant every day." The premise is that performing a daily unpleasantness leads to self discipline, the very thing I seem to lack.

What an amazing idea! So much I read has to do with making diet and exercise comfortable for the afflicted. I realize now I've been guilty of the same thing. I've been focusing on making diet and exercise so enjoyable for myself I haven't made much progress.

The funny part of this idea is that it actually works. I think to myself, "I really don't want to clean these piles on my desk, or fold these clothes, or do these dishes, but it's unpleasant, so I will." And, to my utter amazement, I do! And then I laugh because it seems so ridiculous.

My next task will be to say, "I really don't want to avoid this cookie, or doughnut, or potato chip, but I will, because doing so will result in a less than satisfied feeling in my belly, and that is unpleasant." I have to link a book here today, written by Stephen Gullo. I read it a long time ago and I think this follows his basic message - to stop being so self indulgent and take responsibility for eating less.

Full Circle

2006-04-06T07:45:00.000-05:00

About a million years ago my "Sundae-a-day" habit caught up with me and I asked my mom the best way to lose weight. She talked to me about counting calories and carbohydrates. Since you could have way more calories than carbs I chose to count calories. My teenage self figured out fairly quickly that skipping meals was a great way to lose weight. In fact, no eating at all was helpful too. But after a few fights with mom I realized that wasn't sustainable and the yo-yo dieting began.

In the '80's I counted fat grams while eating enormous platefuls of pasta in college. I honestly wondered why I never lost any weight even though I exercised. In the '90's I did a Fat Flush for a grueling week and lost 7 pounds. I'll take a pass next time. With Atkins I ate several pounds of bacon and for some bizarre reason - didn't shed an ounce! Imagine that. Nothing seemed to work over the long term.

So what to do? After spending two decades trying to convince myself I could eat as much as I want, as long as I avoid certain foods, I realize that it's the intake that derails my efforts. I came across a website called Calorie-Count.com which, after obtaining way more information than I wanted to provide, allows me to use their food log and tracking service for free. It has really neat tools, for example, many foods (especially brand name ones) are already in their database. Just search and click to add. If it's not there a handy form allows you to enter the food yourself. It tallys for the day and keeps track of your progress - "only 10 more pounds to go!" Even includes a graph.

It's not very flashy but seems to work well. Knowing I'm going to enter everything that I eat is a motivator. I like to see the progress I'm making and get that bit of feedback. It's on the honor system, guys, so no cheating! I'll report back whether it helps me stay on track. Counting calories. How basic is that?

Sign says all you can eat - not eat all day!

2006-03-28T17:12:00.000-05:00

I had the best meal I've eaten in a LONG time the other night. It was date night, and dinner at a fancy restaurant was on the agenda. Hearkening back to an earlier time in my life I made sure not to eat anything that afternoon because I didn't want to "spoil my dinner." It worked. I wasn't ravenous, because I'd eaten well at lunch but I was hungry. At this restaurant the food portions are not overly huge (like some places) so I left full but not overstuffed. How I felt afterwards had me thinking about food and what I happen to be doing with it lately (forever).

Some days are like the all-u-can-eat buffet. No matter what I've just eaten, I'm bored, so I hit the fridge, cupboard, vending machine for the next snack. I realize what's happening: I'm eating my stress, or boredom but I can't seem to break the cycle. Some days are like yesterday. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner being busy in between without the call of the sugary or salty snack. I even swam 1000 meters at the pool. Why can't all days be like that? I wish I knew.

I'm calling myself out because food is part of the fitness equation. I remember reading an article once about a woman in her forties. In the photo she was beautiful, tanned and fit looking. But she said something that chilled me, "I've been hungry for twenty years." The article detailed her depression with constantly battling cravings and dieting. That's just grim. I've had times in my life where I've been at a good place fitness-wise and I'd like to get there again. I don't know if I'll ever be rid of my inner eating machine but I'm going to try to make better choices with it. Better to crunch through a bag of carrot sticks than potato chips. We'll see how it goes.

Dogs: A walker's best friend

2006-02-20T19:32:00.000-05:00

Believe me, this dog is no couch potato.

Ever try to exercise with a friend? You arrange to meet at 6am for that walk, run, swim, step class. It works great until one of you gets bored (me) and blows off the other. "My kid is sick." "My husband has an early meeting." In comes Chloe.

I got Chloe in a fit of maternal instinct (I was pregnant at the time) about six years ago. I vowed I would walk her *every* day. That went fairly well for a few years but a couple of winters ago we both got cold feet. Her tootsies got sore walking on salt encrusted ice in our neighborhood. I almost had a fit when I saw her holding that hind leg up - not the knee again! But she was just cold. Subsequently we quickly got out of the habit of walking at all. I've been feeling pretty badly about that lately and decided to do something about it. Due to the recent thaw and rain the street is pretty clean. Over the weekend we managed to take two walks. Yes two! (applause). We both enjoyed it.

Chloe is so forgiving. She doesn't make me feel terrible about all the walks we missed. She might not even remember them at all! And she's smart. The morning I took her out the first time she got right up when I did, ears perked, and looked at me. "Are we really going?" She seemed to ask. There's no negotiating with a dog. She doesn't say, "it's raining, let's wait until tomorrow." In fact, I know that rain enhances the smell of smelly stuff. She likes that. Chloe is always up and ready to go. She can take a nap later. Chloe is a motivator because she's always enthusiastic, waiting by the door, ready before I am.

I'm including Chloe in my little fitness quest. I read an article that says to exercise on "most days." How often is that? That's just excuses in the making, my brain trying to do that counting thing. I'm going to ignore that and try to take my dog out more often. It benefits us both.

Breaking the ice

2006-02-20T16:53:00.000-05:00

I haven't been on skates in about ten years or so. But I was an o.k. skater so I wasn't too worried when my oldest daughter began to hound me for ice skates. It was the kind of hounding that, if she didn't get skates for her birthday, it was going to be a very bad day. She's six.
She ended up getting the skates and a pair for her sister too, thank you Play it Again Sports. There are some terrific places to skate in Maine and we chose Falmouth Family Ice on the recommendation of a coworker. The first time we went, it was just me and the girls. I felt nervous! Would I fall and be embarrassed? Hurt myself? What if they hated it? I was wrong on almost everything.
We struggled along the wall at first, the girls falling and falling but never getting discouraged. Amazingly enough, my oldest started to get it! The ice skating coworker suggested having them stomp their feet to get used to the skates and the ice. I have to report - it worked! Getting through that first day was thrilling.
We went again yesterday, this time with the husband and three year old. That was challenging, taking the boy around. An observant spectator commented as I went past, "how does your back feel about now?" I was in agony. We took a break shortly thereafter.
My husband, hero that he is, convinced me to skate with him without the kids. I was able to keep my eye on them in the stands as we went around the rink. I was doing it! Silly as it sounds I felt a teenager again, doing the couples skate at the local rink. Very cool.
The highlight of the afternoon was heading outside with my oldest daughter to the pond for a few more minutes. She wasn't done yet! At six, second time on skates, she's skating independantly and confidently. We went around, smiling and laughing. It couldn't have been a better day.

Winter Feels Good!

2006-02-13T10:18:00.000-05:00

Did you check out all the snow we got this weekend? It's awesome. The photo there shows a couple of terrific looking snowmen someone built in Central Park of NYC. Pretty cool! So I was poking around in the news and I read an article about schools that are buying snowshoes for kids. This is a great idea that led me to think about winter sports in general. I learned how to ski a while back and was a determined blue trail skiier. I wasn't concerned with being fast, or especially skilled. I most enjoyed being outside during the most inclement season in New England, winter.

What else could we do that would enable us to be outdoors for 6 to 8 hours at a stretch? We even packed sandwiches to stuff in our pockets in order to eat lunch slopeside. Barring bathroom breaks they were full fresh air days. So why don't I ski anymore? Life intervened and it's not feasible to get three kids on the mountain these days. Anyone check out the price of lift tickets? Yikes.

My next goal is to scale back my expectations and enjoy the snow with the kids. There are snowmen to build, and angels to make. Instead of watching from the window I'll recycle my ski pants into snowpants and start doing what they do. We'll keep trying new things like ice skating and maybe snowshoeing. And I'll keep checking out websites like Winter Feels Good to get ideas and inspiration. Snowball fight anyone?

Yes, I can fly like Superman. In the water, that is

2006-02-07T18:13:00.000-05:00

That's not my picture, but I hope I look as snazzy as that lovely lady in the far, far distant future. Anyway, a fun thing happened to me while swimming today. I was swimming along and my brain started to think superhero thoughts as I went back and forth. I'd stop and rest a few seconds on the edge of the pool with my feet on the wall and think, "I'm Spiderman. I'm hanging out on the side of a building like Spiderman." Or, while skimming the surface of the (very deep) end I'd think, "I'm Superman, flying high in the sky." You might be wondering what I was smoking, but those thoughts led me to certain questions about exercise.

Usually when I'm exercising my mind is in SERIOUS countdown mode - "O.k. Annette, only 10 more reps, laps, minutes, lifts, etc." I have to pep talk myself almost the entire time. That's really boring. I thought about my kids and how they move, which is almost constantly. They need to be commanded to stop: don't run, come inside, stop playing, stop climbing, get out of the water. Their natural impulse is to move their bodies and somehow we lose that. Is it TV? Junk food? Team sports? Parents? I've talked about how serious adults can be while exercising. We have to distract ourselves with TV's mounted over the treadmill or get another adult to goad us into doing it. Personal training is big business because money is a great (but temporary) motivator: If I pay you to make me exercise I will do it. Because I don't know you it's o.k for me to loathe every minute of it.

In trying to figure out how to remain motivated I think I found something out: if the activity is fun, physically pleasurable and offers some other benefit (like letting my imagination run away) then maybe I'll continue to do it. Today, after 600 meters, the little voices told me to get out of the pool, I had done enough. But instead of needing the internal cheerleading squad to keep me going I just went back to Spidey and Superman, and easily swam the last 200. It was a good day.

2006-01-31T16:17:00.000-05:00

Go Soak Your Head! A Tale of a Reluctant Exerciser

My first experience with open water started with my mom dipping my baby toes in the ocean at four months. Then there were the intervening years at the YMCA, you know, fish, flying fish, dolphin, porpoise. I didn't consider myself a "swimmer". I loved to swim around, mermaiding in the ocean. But I never thought about swimming for exercise until last summer, when a couple of coworkers finally convinced me to give it a try. At first we swam outside with mixed results. Some days it was nice and warm. After a few laps I'd lay out on the deck and sun myself. Other days it was too chilly and I walked back to the office, grateful for that bit of exercise. Then Labor Day arrived and the pool closed for the season. What next?

My colleagues convinced me to give the local indoor pool a try. "It's only $3 bucks, no commitment." That I could go for. It seems that once I have a monthly contract I MUST stop going and agonize about my lost gym fees. This would be different. And it was.

The pool, at a local school, has adult swim during lunch. The water is deliciously warm. I splurged on a swim cap and goggles which made me feel legit. The first days in the pool I felt clumsy but that soon left me. I tend to daydream while going back and forth. I often think of a line from one of the kid's books: "shooting back and forth like a silver arrow" running like a mantra in my head. (Although I'm no silver arrow, that's for sure). A swim, followed by a hot shower, is enough to turn me to jello for the day. It's heavenly.

I used to be a walker. Then for various excuses and reasons, I stopped. Now I'm swimming and I'm going to enjoy it for as long as I can. My hope is that when the time comes to transition from one type of exercise to another, I'll recognize what's happening. Then I'll be able to reduce the time it takes to switch to something else. Maybe I'll be a walker again. Until then, it's splashy time.

Why not play like kids?

2006-01-23T13:27:00.000-05:00

I took my daughter to a birthday party yesterday at a local gymnastics place. There was a jungle gym room next to the princess table set with hats and the cake. The kids, all around 4 or 5 years old, immediately ran to the gym room which was filled with slides, climbing ropes, balance beams and a trampoline or two. They were unstoppable. Eventually the group moved to the main floor where the instructor took them through several actvities. One included running down a runway-sized trampoline and leaping off into a giant pit of foam blocks. As my daughter struggled to free herself there was a huge smile on her face. I gave her a hand up and she said, "again Mommy!"

After cake and ice cream the kids had another run at the jungle gym room and this time I joined them. My hands itched to grab the rope and take a swing but I was too embarrassed in front of the other parents. During the ride home, with my little one sound asleep in the back seat, I wondered, "when do we stop going to the playground?" My oldest is six and we all still love to go. Why are there no jungle gyms at the gym? We have treadmills and exercycles, free weights and exercise balls. There are step classes and Pilates. Where are the adult-sized monkey bars? Where is the tunnel slide?

I thought about military styled obstacle courses and boot camps. Usually that type of training is punitive and seems to be founded on goading the attendee to complete the course at a fast pace. Why can't it be fun? I think I could get a stellar workout running around the playground for an hour, if it were my size.